Thursday, March 1, 2018

On Change, and the Gradual Nature of Arrival


I wrote "Arrivals" almost eight years ago, and have thought of the day my son was born every year since, on the week of his birthday.
 
http://awelvers.blogspot.com/2010/09/arrivals.html?m=0

Most of these nine years have been characterized by a necessary fierce independence. It gave me the power of strength, at times when strength was called for the most, and at other times created a wall which isolated me from those who did not have a similar life experience.

This year has been one of intense change. I have learned much about the strength one can derive from leaning on others, even strangers. I have learned that independence is important, but sharing pain and struggles can create a web of connection that is ten times as strong as any wall.

I have learned that difference of opinion does not prevent kinship and community. And Langston, my precious boy, whose steps I watch still with fear and worry, I have learned to let him fall, to let him fail, and learned to listen to his own requests for independence, as hard as that is to hear. Finally - hardest and most terrifying of all - I learned to let him love and look up to Rob, to know that I am not the only center of his world any more, and that is good and right.

Once, I was proud to hold his little hand, to be the reason he is. Now, I grow prouder and prouder to let him go, in small ways, away from me towards his own destinations.