Lost in Smartlation

Now, my phone suggests words for me as I type text messages, as I'm sure all recent cell phones do. And lately, it's suggested a few goofy things while I'm typing. I'm often tempted to let the error stand. Because it's so much more nonsensical than the mundane message I had had in mind.

The other weekend while texting about a dishwasher, "fishwarper" was suggested. As in, you're probably writing your friend about your latest escapades as a professional fishwarper. One who warps fish. I, your phone, care not whether these fish are being warped for culinary, gaming or artistic purposes. All I know is that it is more likely that you are writing your friend about your job as fishwarper than you would be sending a note about using his or her dishwasher.

Now, I have resolved to let all suggestions stand. Who am I to get in the way of the big Almighty Electronic Brain.* So this evening, instead of sending my intended note: "Skate or die, dude." I sent this: "Plate or did, dude." Followed by my second note, sent upon realizing I had unintentionally kleptoed my neighbor's big plastic serving spoon. It should have read "I have your serving spoon." Instead: "I hate your serving spoon."

Phones are fun.

*Which I originally typed as bog Almoighty Electronic Brain. In light of my latest resolution, I should have let even that typo stand. Half commentary, half cockney. I think.