Friday, April 30, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Desperately Seeking Skeeter Defeater*
Last summer, through almost October, I had a constant struggle with the presence of mosquitoes in my apartment. Usually one mosquito at a time would make itself known, I'd kill it a day or two later, followed by a handful of insomnia, listening-for-mosquito filled nights, followed by a new mosquito visitor.
This year, I've decided to plan ahead. The internet will be my friend. After all, isn't it already trying to sell me a million things every day? Here's what I want: first, I want a mosquito net for my bed, but not one of those drapey army deals that hangs loosely around the edge of your cot. I want a queen-size mosquito net tent that sproings up like an actual tent (for you non-camping lovers, that means that two plastic rods cross under the netting, fit in sleeves which hold the cover in place, making a perfect dome.) In one of my internet strolls, I came across one of these on a Chinese website and, not having had the foresight to make a note of the address, lost the reference. I was unable to find the mosquito tent again. It's out there somewhere though. Some genius invented this thing and I will find it, as I covet and even sometimes acquire the works of geniuses.
Next: I want one of those magical contraptions advertised in gardening magazines that sends out an inaudible-to-the-human-ear noise that lures mosquitoes in to a zapping death. Here's the thing, though - these zappers are usually advertised as tools for mosquito-proofing your backyard. Is there some danger in keeping or using one indoors? Does it emit some kind of toxic chemical, sound, or mysterious science-fiction-y element? I think tonight, when I'm falling asleep, I'll make up names for the mystery element.
*The name of a mosquito net that wants to be my queen-sized mosquito tent when it grows up.
This year, I've decided to plan ahead. The internet will be my friend. After all, isn't it already trying to sell me a million things every day? Here's what I want: first, I want a mosquito net for my bed, but not one of those drapey army deals that hangs loosely around the edge of your cot. I want a queen-size mosquito net tent that sproings up like an actual tent (for you non-camping lovers, that means that two plastic rods cross under the netting, fit in sleeves which hold the cover in place, making a perfect dome.) In one of my internet strolls, I came across one of these on a Chinese website and, not having had the foresight to make a note of the address, lost the reference. I was unable to find the mosquito tent again. It's out there somewhere though. Some genius invented this thing and I will find it, as I covet and even sometimes acquire the works of geniuses.
Next: I want one of those magical contraptions advertised in gardening magazines that sends out an inaudible-to-the-human-ear noise that lures mosquitoes in to a zapping death. Here's the thing, though - these zappers are usually advertised as tools for mosquito-proofing your backyard. Is there some danger in keeping or using one indoors? Does it emit some kind of toxic chemical, sound, or mysterious science-fiction-y element? I think tonight, when I'm falling asleep, I'll make up names for the mystery element.
*The name of a mosquito net that wants to be my queen-sized mosquito tent when it grows up.
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